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Too Much to Ask

by Cheekface

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    "𝐓𝐨𝐨 𝐌𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐭𝐨 𝐀𝐬𝐤" 𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐲𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐡 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐞𝐬.𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞
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1.
I am always working but I don’t have any money You’re always telling jokes but none of them are funny I am folding pamphlets and disturbing the peace You are painting signs that say "De-Friend The Police" I am dropping out of school to go to the park If you’re the light of my life why is it always so dark? I don’t know anything You don’t know anything We don’t know anything together Life hands you problems, make problemade Life hands you wages, minimum wage The popcorn ceiling, the great divide If you think I suck would you keep it to yourself? You must be thinking of someone else I am always hungry and I don’t have any cake You are always on a plane and the plane is full of snakes You are super fun. You’re a really nice guy. And I’m a psychological Superfund site I am yelling “someone’s in here” from the bathroom stall of life You are logging onto Tinder getting zero Super Likes I don’t like anything You don’t like anything We don’t like anything together Life hands you problems, make problemade Life hands you wages, minimum wage The popcorn ceiling, the great divide If you think this sucks would you keep it to yourself? You must be thinking of something else
2.
Coffee from the bank Fritos isn't free I only want to be with other people like me Advil, Tylenol There is no relief I only want to be with other people like me Let's just assume, for the sake of argument That Chapstick causes chapped lips And sunscreen causes sunburns And music causes hearing loss And bottled water makes you thirsty And I am just a cat watching another cat on TV I lit a match I threw it in the trash I tossed it all in the dumpster The dumpster fire got bigger Now we need a bigger dumpster and a book of matches Everything is fine Everything is fine Everything is fine I caught a cold I coughed on all my friends Now everyone is coughing on everybody else And we're coughing on our doctors and our doctors cough out: "Everything is fine! Everything is fine! Everything is fine!" I crossed the street against the light It backed up all the traffic The drivers start to get out and confront me in the intersection They are screaming: "Everything is fine! Everything is fine! Everything is fine!" Doing improv Coffee, juice or tea? I only want to be with other people like me Seal Team 6 is here saging everything I only want to be with other people like me Let's just assume, for the sake of argument That Chapstick causes chapped lips And sunscreen causes sunburns And music causes hearing loss And bottled water makes you thirsty And I am just a dog watching another dog on TV
3.
Pledge Drive 02:44
I am living in an extra large box It’s a nice big house with a TV/VCR Where rats are eating all my earthly possessions I called the pledge drive. I got the suicide hotline Life’s little moments in an extra large box Courting controversy in an esoteric field Why don’t the police ever obey the law? I don’t know anything. You don’t know anything Statistically likely to be wearing a shirt A shirt so white and starched you could spill coffee on it Statistically likely to be trying to stay hydrated (but not that hydrated) No one is mad at me No one is mad at me No one is mad at me No one is mad at me If woke dudes must die, I’ll go first I don’t know anything. You don’t know anything If we must dumpster dive, I’ll go first I don’t know anything. You don’t know anything And if you think youth has been wasted on the young and the wasted And so now one of us has to die, I’ll go first I don’t know anything. You don’t know anything I am a supergrain, I’m native to Peru I thrive in the elevations of the Andes mountain range I am arguably ruining the environment and the local economy And you can substitute me for bulgur wheat This mob of teens with sponges is ready to wash your car I’m standing in the Wendy’s drive-thru screaming “FUCK ALL THE TRANSPHOBES” I feel nothing and I’m 14-inches tall I don’t know anything. You don’t know anything
4.
I’m at the Jamba Juice I’m at the therapist I’m at the combination Jamba Juice and therapist Don’t shoot your shot Hey, are you goth? Yeah, Todd Something familiar from every day starts to seem alien when you repeat it and repeat it and repeat it and repeat it The difference between me and a dog is, I’m taller Think about it. Just, think about it. Look mom! I’m trying! I fixed all my problems! Why do I feel so weird? It’s right under my nose, punching me in the face Why do I feel so weird? My brain is full of barking dogs My guts are full of barking dogs My heart is full of barking dogs My soul is full of barking dogs Look mom! I’m trying! I watered all the plants! Why do I feel so weird? Why do I feel so weird? I already puked I almost feel better I am a slumpy plant and I need carbonated water I could get so much done if I didn’t have to sleep any more But then I would be tired It’s hard to acknowledge something obvious when it’s really obvious I’m feeling good, but I’m sure it will pass It’s the 10 year anniversary of everything from 10 years ago Think about it. Just, think about it.
5.
I want to be the featured singer on an EDM song A song that is a paean to human potential And when they put on my song, DJs all around the world will say "Come on! Let me feel your energy" I want to be the featured singer on an EDM song The one they play at parties on fraternity row The one that uplifts your spirit And bothers your roommate And throbs throbs throbs through the walls of the warehouse I want to be the featured singer on an EDM song Wedding DJs will cringe when it is requested Spin Magazine, The Needle Drop and Reader's Digest won't even review it But kids will choreograph elaborate dances to my voice on TikTok Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I want to be the featured singer on an EDM song No one will march to it in the streets looking for a brighter day But ukulele covers of it will crowd your YouTube suggestions And Art Laboe will send it out with a dedication to a dog named Snuggles I want to be the featured singer on an EDM song It's the role I was born to play: completely faceless, but for a few months I will be everywhere Uplifting your spirit Bothering your roommate I will throb throb throb through the walls of the warehouse Now turn on your phone light and wave it around Turn on your phone light and wave it around Turn on your phone light and wave it around No problem you can Venmo me back later for the ketamine Diane, did you know this stuff was made for horses? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Everybody now ... I want to be the featured singer on an EDM song I want to be the featured singer on an EDM song I want to be the featured singer on an EDM song Come on! Let me feel your energy
6.
Noodles 00:57
Yeah A big cup of noodles A giant cup of noodles
7.
I'm doing nothing like melatonin I'm doing nothing like I'm verified I'm holding out for important changes I light nine candles for minimum wages For the garbage man election day is still garbage day anyway Next year in Jerusalem, OK Your dad was a congressman My dad was a dumpster-diving freegan Dr. Bronner was not a real doctor The name was mostly aspirational For the garbage man election day is still garbage day nonetheless Next year in Jerusalem, I guess You just might understand this This is not about a plane, train or automobile Won't you understand? Don't you understand me? This is not about a plane, train or automobile Won't you understand? Don't you understand? For the garbage man election day is still garbage day anyway Next year in Jerusalem, OK
8.
He’s tall He’s lean He reeks of gasoline And he has perfect credit, if you know what I mean He is the air conditioning man And he is keeping you cool with his giant fan And I, on the other hand I hope this bagel will never end But he’s your ruthless dictator! He’s your enlightened plutocrat! He is dancing on the table in a shirt made of hats! You didn’t start the bonfire of the vanities But you’re tossing in our clothes and our humanities And once a year, we act like we were glad you were born You always want to bomb the Middle East on the weekend When we could be cutting grass or eating cheese with your girlfriend We could learn to read and write in Portuguese or Korean But you always want to bomb the Middle East You always want to bomb the Middle East on vacation When we could just write a novel or recline in frustration We could occupy the park across the street with a squirt gun But you always want to bomb the Middle East It’s crude It’s rude It’s full of toxins dude It’s the underground hero to a special few It ain’t broke so don’t fix it And never change No matter what Meanwhile I? I’m going to back school! I’ve been eating mush all week and it’s time for round food! But he’s your ruthless dictator! He’s your straw man strongman! He’s taking you to the Cinderella’s Castle of Shame at Disneyland! We didn’t start the bonfire of the vanities But we’re tossing in our clothes and our humanities And once a year, we act like we were glad you were born You always want to bomb the Middle East on the weekend When we could be cutting grass or eating cheese with your girlfriend We could learn to read and write in Portuguese or Korean But you always want to bomb the Middle East You always want to bomb the Middle East on vacation When we could just write a paean or recline in frustration You could occupy the park across the street with a Nerf gun But you always want to bomb the Middle East I didn’t start the bonfire of the vanities But I’m tossing in my clothes and my humanity And once a year, I act like I was glad I was born You always want to bomb the Middle East on the weekend When we could be cutting grass or planting trees with your girlfriend We could learn to read and write in Cantonese or Italian But you always want to bomb the Middle East You always want to bomb the Middle East on vacation When we could just write a poem or recline in frustration You could occupy the park across the street with a squirt gun But you always want to bomb the Middle East
9.
Friends 02:29
Sheesh! I hear breathing and I don’t want to hear it There’s prescription pills for that, find them on clearance It might be a hobby. It might be obsession Jokes or bacon wrapped around something offensive? Left your final concert right before the encore Asked my therapist to tell me who I’m gonna vote for We don’t have to be friends Everything is pregnant with problems We don’t have to be friends Cinnabons but nobody wants them We have a weak connection and it’s only for show We don’t have to be friends I’m sitting down because it’s good for the soul Sheesh! Do you think you could develop any other interests? Model painting, rock climbing, unlawful arrests The vastness of the universe. The shortness of life You know what? You’ll scratch your back and I’ll scratch mine Left your final concert right before the encore Ask your therapist to tell you who you’re gonna vote for
10.
i liked it better when you were standing next to me i liked it better when you were standing next to me i liked it better when you were standing next to me i liked it better when you were standing next to me my heart has hiccups, there's no relief i'm eating salad and speaking my peace i'm yelling "yo" outside your building at night they call me Yo Guy they call the police i exercise so much to get you off my mind i tried to cut my hair just like the band you like i liked it better when you were standing next to me i liked it better when you were standing next to me i liked it better when you were standing next to me i liked it better when you were standing next to me my heart's head is getting a headache i'm getting nauseous and puking up flowers i hit my head on something twice in a row i got a papercut from digging through your trash i exercise so much to get you off my mind i tried to cut my hair just like the band you like i liked it better when you were standing next to me i liked it better when you were standing next to me i liked it better when you were standing next to me i liked it better when you were standing next to me yo shut the fuck up!
11.
Vegan Water 04:20
I can’t communicate my needs and I don’t care if I smell good Ain’t too proud to beg Ain’t too proud to steal leftover dessert off another table A black hole full of noodles Vegan water in the sink Ain’t too proud to plead Baby you can knife my tires All my friends are imaginary I can do no wrong I’m a corporatist statist monkey I can do no wrong My brain’s completely full My brain’s completely full Tide Pods in my mouth and my mind I can do no wrong The thing you hate the most? Well, I think it is completely anodyne Don’t smash your fingers closing the window of opportunity The periodic table of reality The periodic table of haircuts Ain’t too proud to just vibe Baby you can slash my tires All my friends are imaginary I can do no wrong Going ham with a chainsaw on a tree I can do no wrong My brain’s completely full My brain’s completely full You can’t fire me because I am dead I can do no wrong I can do no wrong I can do no wrong I can do no wrong I can do no wrong

about

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1/19 Chicago @ Lincoln Hall
3/12 Tucson, AZ @ Groundworks
3/15 Austin, TX @ SXSW
3/16 Austin, TX @ SXSW
3/17 Austin, TX @ SXSW
3/18 Ft. Worth, TX @ Southside Spillover
3/20 Atlanta, GA @ Aisle 5
3/21 Carrboro, NC @ Cat's Cradle Back Room
3/22 Richmond, VA @ Richmond Music Hall
3/24 New York, NY @ Bowery Ballroom
3/25 Washington, DC @ Comet Ping Pong
3/26 Philadelphia, PA @ Ukie Club
3/29 Boston, MA @ Brighton Music Hall
3/31 Montreal, QC @ Bar Le Ritz PDB
4/1 Toronto, ON @ Velvet Underground
4/2 Detroit, MI @ Sanctuary Detroit
4/4 Columbus, OH @ Ace of Cups
4/5 Indianapolis, IN @ The Hi-Fi
4/6 St. Louis, MO @ Blueberry Hill Duck Room
4/8 Denver, CO @ Globe Hall

credits

released August 2, 2022

All music and lyrics by Cheekface
except "When Life Hands You Problems" by Cheekface and Lexi McCoy-Caso, and “Election Day” by Cheekface and Sidney Gish

Amanda Tannen on bass guitar and backing vocals
Greg Katz on vocals and guitar
Mark Echo Edwards on drums and percussion

Sidney Gish sings on “Election Day”

Produced and recorded by Greg Cortez
except “We Need a Bigger Dumpster” produced and recorded by Cheekface

Mixed by Alex Newport
except “Featured Singer” and “Next to Me (Yo Guy Version)” mixed by Greg Cortez

Mastered by Carl Saff

Recorded at New Monkey Studio in Los Angeles,
except “You Always Want to Bomb the Middle East,” recorded at Kingsize Soundlabs Studio A in Los Angeles, assistant engineer Rudyard Lee Cullers; and “We Need a Bigger Dumpster,” recorded at Cheekface headquarters

Cover art by Amanda Tannen

℗ 2022 Cheekface
© 2022 Original Cheekface Compositions ASCAP

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