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Emphatically No.

by Cheekface

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1.
I'm pulling weeds The weeds are just some art I made, my canvas for anxiety Think you could fall on that grenade? It's your internship ... and there's no pay No room for cream No room for error or for doubt No holier than tho or thou Maybe light snacks are all you need A giant pretzel could make you feel better Bored of the dance, I laugh in spite of myself What side of bread is the side with the butter on it? Listen to your heart (no) Keep on keeping on (no) Just say "no" to drugs (no) Eat a healthy lunch (no) Draw outside the lines (no) Pay your parking tickets (no) Buy one get one free (no) Turn the other cheek (no) Just because it's funny doesn't make it a joke Now stop meditating and take me to go bowl Use it till it's gone (no) Keep on keeping on (no) Horse after the cart (no) Listen to your heart (no) My hall of fame And panic is the sport I play We always play on Saturday You and I both in uniform Wherever we go, we take our big-ass folding chairs It's a fantastic way to build a monument A monument to Ativan Three-legged dogs don't seem to mind Take a good idea and do it too much
2.
Best Life 03:07
everything is normal everything is normal everything is normal everything is normal hi! i'm interested in the job you have posted it's too bad about what happened when you flashed in the pan due to personal reasons, i said nothing in therapy: we just laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed in the future, everyone will be my friend for 15 minutes and we'll look amazing when we're in portrait mode we are writers! creatives! we work remotely! i am furiously Juuling™ on the coffee shop patio! don't want a hug, don't want to talk to a dude man i'll be in the corner, bring me water and food i'm on the outside looking in at you inside looking out it's your best life if it's the life that you're living right now don't want instructions but don't know what to do man i'll be in the corner, bring me water and food maybe you'll learn to make do with what you're doing without it's your best life if it's the life that you're living right now hey! have a very, very, very interesting day! great minds think a lot, and so do ours, when it's boring let's pretend we're not bitter, or better than everything they say smiling's contagious, but you know, so is yawning in the future, no compliments are begrudgingly given and we are not pathologically incapable of sincerity we are writers! creatives! we work remotely! i'm getting a Gucci™ logo stick-and-poke, it's cheaper than therapy!
3.
A microdose of friendship I'm right twice a day Who's the Russian oligarch now? The oatmilk latte, the undercover cops Here comes another sleepless night You rise and then shine to the DVD menu You ever open both of your eyes at the same time ... only to find you got a Cheekface lyric face tat? They hold hands as she reaches for the pasta While we wait in line for participation trophies Waiting until we get hungry again Leave the tap running at the fountain of friends Keep the receipts if you want to return life's gift to the mall A canary in a gold mine An IV drip of kindness Quick, touch all the dogs No late capitalism while I'm talking Life's rich uncles, their ice cream shop has closed Fear served us well for quite some time Now we grow our own kale and live our lives They want your attention 24/7? Resistance is easy: call your mom
4.
Crying Back 02:35
Stuttering more lately s-s-s-s-s-s-saying stuff Living here sucks if you're made out of dandruff Weeds have overtaken the yard of my mind What is a stalker but a friend that you don't like? I'm bringing crying back Crying's the new black Crying on my snacks Drop the buttered bread the buttered side down I'm sure it's nothing, it's probably fine No pocket for your phone in your surgical gown I'm sure it's nothing, it's probably fine I'm a block of marble you can chip chip chip away at me There must be something good underneath ... just keep hammering Everybody's free. Free to drink sunscreen This song is not medical advice, ask a doctor if sunscreen is right for you I'm bringing crying back Crying's the new black Crying on my snacks Drop the buttered bread the buttered side down I'm sure it's nothing, it's probably fine Mass extinction, abduction, the traffic across town I'm sure it's nothing, it's probably fine Malicious alien landing, Yellowstone supervolcano No exceptions or acceptance at the Waffle House No pocket for your phone in your surgical gown I'm sure it's nothing, it's probably fine Woo
5.
let's do the mortal coil shuffle the cumulative average of wasted time anxiety plus caffeine every pleasure is guilty and the pleasure is mine only one of us is keeping score of the game where'd you get the band name? where'd you get the band name? ... Edible Arrangements everything is OK got my old phone replaced now i do nothing faster than i did yesterday and i took off my shades just to fall on my face it was such a disaster that i canceled my date (like i did before) life is long like a CVS receipt not much to do unless you eat your cake and dance like wedding guests life is long, there's no laundry left to clean not much to say unless you have a slow joke you wanted to tell, i guess let's do the in-limbo limbo the emergency alert for celebrity net worth oh man, an omen a man, a plan, a plain bagel and an omelette one more song! one more song! yeah, we're getting famous, but they still spell our name wrong some personal news:
6.
Fiji, VOSS, Topo Chico, La Croix Running through the veins of each American boy Spray-on chemtrails from Louis Vuitton Overzealous patdown from stupid Uncle Don What makes a man want to be a referee, holding others to a standard that he does not meet? My security deposit was not returned to me Damage to the carpet is a matter of degrees Here's my TED Talk about washing the driveway People do it wrong I'm gonna teach you the right way Pink Starbursts only when observing the Lord's day Your parents' pride and joy Don't want to go to Calabasas Fiji, VOSS, Topo Chico, La Croix Flowing from a fountain of a cherubic boy Cooler Ranch-flavored communion wafers Transubstantiation flesh and full of life I only want to talk to people who already know how lame I am And is con man really short for condiment man? Boyfriend with a soul patch, I know, I know, it's serious
7.
I want to overthrow the government! Or at least the bad part ... Remember when you though the whole world would collapse at your feet? Well, it turns out the whole world will collapse, but that's the result of a costly mistake Human trash everywhere! Tastes like excessive plastic Man it's a hot one, and everything is on fire Let's see what chaos visited humanity today, while I walked on a wire The climate changed and I left it on read The bees died off and I left it on read They don't recycle your Sprite bottles any more Don't need a Weatherman to know Standing on an X: the X where you'll watch the sun set on mankind The exploded Spaghetti-O's on the microwave window of the sky Life itself is a pre-existing condition, an original composition, a limited edition, an invitation to return to the destination Let's see what chaos visited humanity today while I was on vacation The climate changed and I left it on read The bees died off and I left it on read They don't recycle your Sprite bottles any more Don't need a Weatherman to know Nations collapsed and I left it on read Peak oil and gas and I left it on read They don't recycle your Zoloft bottles any more Don't need a weather man to know
8.
If you're not disappointed yet, just give me some time I'm feeling fine but not better than fine If there's one piece of advice that I want to pass along, it's to dress for the dog you want For the dog you want ... I got blood under my fingernails from scratching my head We got a lot of croutons, so we better make this salad My new therapy is just thinking about my friends (Maybe that's what it feels like to miss someone) I've got memories that aren't that good I've got dreams and dreams are not that good I'm announcing loudly, "I don't know what's going wrong!" I tried turning it off and then turning it back on Do I look better when I'm suffering? There's no connection I'm announcing loudly that we were never friends No shirt, no shoes, no justice I did not mean to offend Everything might be OK There's no connection There's no connection Red sauce, white sauce, anything you like He's a farmers market shaman with a petition for you to sign Well just let me know when you finish taking down capitalism, man Until then I'm gonna stay inside I'm gonna stay in ... I got memories that aren't that good I got dreams and dreams are not that good I'm announcing loudly, "I don't know what's going wrong!" I tried turning it off and then turning it back on Do I look better when I'm suffering? There's no connection I'm announcing loudly that we were never friends No shirt, no shoes, no justice I did not mean to offend Everything might be OK There's no connection There's no connection
9.
I'm sorry for what I did with your heartfelt letter what's the wifi login and password in heaven? we're living paycheck to paycheck to paycheck to paycheck saving for a big scorpion neck tat on the soul I am eating like it's thanksgiving, but without the gratitude shouting fire at therapy and at Panda Express is it a business or a hobby? a hobby or a business? let's replace all the vowels with asterisks break down the boxes and put the lid on the trash I'm feeling good, but I'm sure it will pass we need emotional rent control, we're changing our minds we need to put our brand new phones in a bucket of rice we need low interest rates to refinance our jealousy and envy we need Prudential insurance for when our insides are empty we need state-mandated disclosures of people who aren't nice we need multiple choice tests and a small side of fries we need a giant freaking Snickers bar full of ice cream we need emotional rent control and real-ass intimacy Venmo me when you get home so i know you are safe! a phone call from Unknown, i answer just to have someone to talk to ... so much of life can be viewed through the metaphor of dance: love, loss, war, fate, fear, protesting nuclear plants feathers in a duck's mouth from eating the other ducks I love to touch things a lot of people have touched I am young, dumb and full of psychiatric medication I have watched every single episode of PBS NewsHour and now I'm going on vacation can you believe this could be more interesting than human interaction together? I'm sorry for what i did with your heartfelt letter break down the boxes and put the lid on the trash I'm feeling good, but I'm sure it will pass we need emotional rent control, we're changing our minds we need to put our brand new phones in a bucket of rice we need low interest rates to refinance our jealousy and envy and we need State Farm insurance for when our stomachs are empty we need state-mandated disclosures of people who aren't nice we need multiple choice tests and a small side of fries we need a giant freaking Snickers bar full of ice cream we need emotional rent control and real-ass intimacy Venmo me when you get home so i know you are safe! a phone call from Unknown, i answer because i have a few things i'm trying to work through ...
10.
pedantic romantic the panic starts to creep i am just a dude! nobody hassle me majored in college i earned a dude's degree by buying a notebook and sneezing on my things i come from a long line of people a long line of people who procreated pedantic romantic no angels ascend could file a complaint just tell a big, big friend consumer behavior has come to an end take back your deposit and bring a big, big friend poetic, synthetic they mean the same to me i inspire pathos among the faculty a nine-minute mile a minor misery they're gonna give me tenure see you at Applebee's i come from a long line of people a long line of pedantic romantic no angels ascend could file a complaint just tell a big, big friend consumer behavior has come to an end take back your deposit and bring a big, big friend (woo) i come from a long line of people a long line of people who are problematic pedantic romantic no angels ascend could file a complaint just tell a big, big friend consumer behavior has come to an end take back your deposit and bring a big, big friend tell a big, big friend to bring a big, big friend tell a big, big friend to bring a big, big friend
11.
There's unlimited breadsticks in the buffet line Thanks for the warm plate but I already filled with the kinds of things you were offering me Did you think I would change? Well I guess you'll see Your discipline and self control are fine It means so much from someone I admire Let's clear the air cause it sucks to be social No need to touch me in an overly friendly way when the disappointment is coming Just let me have this one and the next one and the next one and the next one And there's no need to remind me. I already know Two, three Be loyal like me Enjoy life with the currency Two, three Be loyal like me And waste the gift It came for free I do drugs off my friends' bodies I grind the beans and burn them into coffee steam Sending our heartfelt apologies from the royal we (that's me and my phone) Coughing all over the awards that you gave me I'm done standing next to this Dumpster fire Would you put it out after I'm gone? I'm running late for my closeup on the Jumbotron
12.
Bad art at a discount At the bad mitzvah Why is music so loud? Canceled the male eccentric Who won the trophy With a violent mouth Is this a good time? Is this a good time? I never don't panic so I always don't try I found the treasure but it was broken Do you work here? Do you think you can help me? Front row at the show, I am looking down at my phone I found the treasure but it was broken Do you work here? Do you think you can help me? Emergency alert Raid the band merch for a clean t-shirt I draw a line on the sidewalk you are not allowed to cross Played the homecoming game, won't take my uniform off Just spat coffee all over myself on Sunset Boulevard, but no one saw One dog named iPhone and the other named Galaxy One folded pizza and my face itches constantly One part cryptocurrency and one part ancient history We only got two songs left
13.
I can do the easy part, you only have to do the hard part Are my hands freakishly huge and is that why everything slips through my fingers? Let's get canceled! Let's get canceled together! If I get canceled, I want to get canceled together! Exclusion is a gift A silver medal The end of youth A couple packs of my favorite snacks Dr. Dre, not Dr. Seuss No tenants and no trees No snowmobiles and no skis Call your doctor immediately if you faceplant in the salad bowl I'm doing this out of sheer boredom over an Apple Store employee type beat Sometimes I wonder if a single good thing exists on Earth, and then I eat Cinnamon Toast Crunch Everything is boring now I can't help it, I I can't help it Everything is boring now I can't help it, I I can't help it An emoji for each stage of grief Man, good luck looking good in anything Human trash is everywhere And the highlights get older every year Everything is boring now I can't help it, I I can't help it Exactly, Kevin! The moon just sits there! A blood blister! I knew you were full of [expletive deleted] from the moment you called yourself a straight shooter! A supreme corpse too busy looking at someone else's phone! 600 white guys have formed a line to give me advice But I'm the kind of person who carries around a pocket Constitution so you don't need to buy me one because I already have one Every night is a celebration for some reason for these rich goth teens wearing Marilyn Manson makeup, in search of a second bagel There's always a reason to talk about yourself Are you in line? Discarding an empty bag of smooth jazz electrolytes And of course I relate to Lena Dunham – I relate to every annoying genius Don't get hit by a car!

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credits

released January 11, 2021

Music and lyrics by Cheekface
except "Wedding Guests" by Cheekface and Brijesh Pandya

Amanda Tannen on bass guitar and backing vocals
Greg Katz on vocals and guitar
Mark Echo Edwards on drums and percussion

Devin McKnight played the guitar solo on "Call Your Mom"

All songs recorded and mixed by Greg Cortez at New Monkey Studio in Los Angeles, except "Best Life," "Emotional Rent Control" and "Big Big Friend," which were engineered by Jeff Berner at Studio G Brooklyn, assistant engineer Ross Colombo, and mixed by Jeff Berner at Palace Of Sports, Brooklyn NY

Mastered by Carl Saff

Cover art by Amanda Tannen

℗ 2019-2021 Cheekface under exclusive license to New Professor Music
© 2019-2021 Original Cheekface Compositions ASCAP
except "Wedding Guests" © 2019 Original Cheekface Compositions ASCAP and Awake In The Wild ASCAP

NPM 2101

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